My heart gets no rest
My mind finds no answers
To complete this test
I roll about in agony
Wondering which direction
My lottery will align me
I stare out of the window
Into the deep bleak gray
Ashamed that all my reasoning is colored the same
Dazed, confused for days and days
Not locating in any any
Any truth or right way to proclaim
My life’s great mistake:
A challenge in which I
Refused to partake
In infant retrospect:
A guilt, a pain,
And a lowly spirit left
Oh, love’s definition
Shrouded and withheld
Outside understanding, still I am compelled
An invigorating
And stunning dive
Into the surrealest emotion!
Coupled with a firm decision
Love is capable
Completely capable
Fed with the fuel of the Almighty
Love’s unstoppable
Unstoppable
But I am a failure
A sheep lost it’s way
I’m selfish, I beg and beg
What’s worse, I’m haughty
My pride doesn’t let me obey
Where I stand today
Is in no form, shape, or way
A fair representation of Christ’s love for me
But there is a flip side
These hindrances can subside
Forgiveness, salvation, with God I will abide!
Coupled with a firm decision
Love is capable
Completely capable
Fed with the fuel of the Almighty
Love’s unstoppable
Unstoppable
(I have my direction. My God has found me.)
-David Wingerson, 2011, edited 2014